SPANKY’S GRAND DECLARATIONS
 

6/12/06

Spanky's belly exploded so I, Mr. Clyde Framis, will be in charge for
awhile.


Here is the news.


Spanky ate too many banana tacos, his belly exploded.

So we have a new, more durable Spanky to hang around with...
http://www.futureis-now.com/videos_pro.html

GH is playing the Main Stage at this years' Seattle Hempfest
Sunday, August 20, 3pm
www.hempfest.org

GH is headlining Saturday, September 2 of SHoD, The premier Stoner Rock
festival in the world.

GH west coast tour in August.

R.I.P. Sid

GH was named "Best Metal Band" in the 2006 AZ Ska/Punk Awards.

Uncle Dave is in a much better mood this year. Not sure why.

Recieving many UK orders for "The Last Powerful Second." Thanks Kerrang!

Lots of new press, more coming.

Thanks for your support.


Mr. Clyde Framis, signing off.

 

11/14/05

Aloha y’all!“I don’t like talking to you in person anymore!!”

The crazy world of rock and roll came a callin’ this Veteran’s Day weekend as Greenhaven did the unthinkable, 3 shows in 24 hours. One in Phoenix and two in Prescott , and that’s not all. Not only did they perform all three shows in 24 hours but they had to do it with the Smoky Mountain Skullbusters!! Now that’s a tall order for most folks but when it comes to beer drinking and rock n’ roll Greenhaven ain’t afraid of a challenge. To quote Jerry Reed, “We've got a long way to go and a short time to get there. We're gonna do what they say can't be done.”

The insanity started Friday night at Joe’s Grotto in north Phoenix . It was a full on heavy metal battle royal with the anger and fury of the Smoky Mountain Skullbusters on stage first, destroying everything in their path, followed by the Iron Maiden tribute band Powerslave (“scream for me Phoenix !!!). Greenhaven continued their “scorched earth” policy of leaving nothing behind but burning waste. There wasn’t a sober soul or a dry seat in the house. Tae-Kwon-Do masters Pinky Tuscadero’s White Knuckle Ass Fuck closed the drunken and besotted show with their Molly Hatchet style three guitar sonic assault. By night’s end blood was gushing from my eyes and ears but the gauntlet had been laid down and the call to the road of rock n’ roll damnation had been answered. One down, two to go.

It was a fuzzy Saturday morning when “Sir” Tom rolled to my house. We had about two hours before we needed to be in Prescott for Greenhaven’s show at the grand opening of the Prescott Skate Park . It was time to strap on the leather and gas up for a long ride up the mountain. We got up there about an hour before the big show. On the same bill was the Skullbusters and Last Action Zeros. It was a beautiful autumn afternoon when Greenhaven unleashed the fuckin’ fury on the unsuspecting skaters at the park. The Prescott Fire Department was so impressed with the band that they asked for t-shirts and CDs for the firehouse. The Skullbusters went on afterwards and scared all the children away except for a few that kept throwing rocks and dog poop at Mike Skullbuster. Two down, one to go.

The sandwich board marquee on the sidewalk said “Tonight Only: Fred Green, the Last Action Zeros and Friends.” The Lyzzard Lounge in Prescott was not prepared for the attack of these “Super Friends.” The "Boy Wonders" Skullbusters opened the show because “playing later would cut in to our drinking time.” Several shots later their show became a drunken frenzy of rock n’ roll debauchery and bedlam. After mopping up the booze, blood and other bodily fluids left over from the Skullbusters, the "Caped Crusaders" in Greenhaven tore the Lyzzard a new one. Two-fisted, ass kicking, beer vomiting mayhem ensued and the Boys-in-Green almost killed a homeless man in a really strange moment. Bruised and bloody, both bands returned to their hotel suites (“just like Motley Crue, man, we got suites!!) and continued to drink and fight. Prescott will never be the same. 3 shows, 24 hours…done.

If you missed it two weeks ago then you’ll have to wait until next decade to see the almighty Eightfold perform. The show was a birthday party for Spyder at Jugheads that included Salt River metal warriors Rez-of-War. Eightfold has only played two or three show in their existence. The lineup that night was: Matt “The Irish Whip” Strangwayes-vocals, Danny “The Dream Killer” Marianino-guitar, “Mad Dog” Mike Skullbuster-bass, and Bill “I wish Spanky would give me a nickname” Schumann on drums. They played a blistering set of hardcore that included the original version of “Supernature.” The sweaty crowd went crazy as they pounded out the classics and left everybody wanting more. It was a once in a lifetime experience. After the show rock soldiers Matt and Bill loaded up their equipment and raced over to Scottsdale for Greenhaven’s set at Chaser’s. Mike and Danny went to Babes. Another burning show for Greenhaven as Matt and Bill did two gigs in one night and didn’t miss a beat. “Believe.”

Until next time…

“This happens every time one of these floozies starts poontangin' around with those show folk fags.”

-Sheriff Spanky T. Justice

 

8/12/2005

Hola Amigos!

Sorry I haven’t rapped at you for awhile but it has been a long,
hot and very busy summer. I have made some time to listen to some demos of the upcoming Greenhaven CD. It smokes!! It is the kind of music that makes you drive fast and reckless. It sounds like a drunken Battle Royal between Molly Hatchet, Van Halen, Saxon and “Rowdy” Roddy Piper against Blue Oyster Cult, UFO and “Nature Boy” Ric Flair. It’s that fuckin’ sick.

Mark your calendars for Saturday, August 27th for Greenhaven’s
next big gig with Motive’s CD release show at the Marquee Theatre in Tempe. Motive’s new CD “Rock ‘n Roll Terrorist” is a left hook across the nose and a right fist in the gut. It cranks! This show is going to be huge!! Greenhaven is ready to “Rip, Rip, Rip and Destroy!!” all night long. (A classic KISS reference there, nudge, nudge, wink, wink).

Now for something completely but historically different…  This past week marked the 60th anniversary of the Hiroshima and Nagasaki atomic bomb attacks that brought a swift and violent end to World
War II. A Pandora’s Box of nuclear horror had been unleashed upon the world as a whole. But without the reality of the fiery, apocalyptic, violent forces of the atom bomb there would never had been the science fiction of GODZILLA (or the BOC song-ed.). You’re probably thinking “Spanky, what the fuck?? How can you compare nuclear weapons to a movie?” If you watch the first movie, GOJIRA (GODZILLA, KING OF THE MONSTERS), you see a guy in a rubber suit destroying a model version of Tokyo, with fire, smoke and
explosions. But the reality behind the story is the aftermath of the atom bomb, since Japan is the only nation on Earth that has ever had nuclear weapons used against them in warfare. The movie was originally released in Japan in 1954 barely nine years after the end of the war and became a huge international hit with two dozen more movies that followed. In the later movies, Godzilla becomes a hero and everyone calls on him to save the day from other monsters. But the original movie is dark and reflects the hellish
horrors of war and the dangers of the Atomic Age.

Hey ho, gotta go!!

“I did it like this, I did it like that, I did it with a Whiffle ball bat…”

Monster Spanky from Planet X


6/5/05 Greenhaven in the recording studio click here for the update and pics


5/1/05

May Day! May Day!

 

           Howdy-ho, neighbors! What a busy Spring it has been for the Men-in-Green, myself and our cronies-in-crime. Most of April is still a blur but from what I heard I had a really good time (New Times Awards, Arizona Cup). Greenhaven have been busy recording demos and hammering out tunes that haven’t been heard or played live in a long time. The long wait for a full-length will be worth it. Also this last month the band was selected as a finalist in the maniatv.com battle of the bands. In not-totally-unrelated news: The “Metallimania” DVD is out in stores now and check out the trailer featuring "Throckmorton Express"at www.metallimania.com. You can also purchase copies online at the same website.

When I am sitting around and getting stoned (for medical and spiritual enhancement purposes only) with my friends and want to start an interesting conversation, or start a heated, but intellectual argument, I like to ask them the typical “Desert Island” (or just stuck in the middle of the Arizona desert) questions, like; if you were stuck on an island and can have only 10, or more, CDs, DVD/videos, books, etc, etc, etc… what would they be? (The island, of course, would have to have access to electricity, water, food, beer, toilet paper, weed, fire, sunscreen, naked women and other necessities for survival.)

Here are my “Desert Island” lists:

 

CDs (in no particular order)

Black Sabbath, Black Sabbath

Sex Pistols, Nevermind the Bollocks

Deep Purple, Machinehead

Metallica, Master of Puppets

Motley Crue, Shout at the Devil

Beatles, Revolver

Mercyful Fate, Melissa

D.R.I., Dealing With It

S.O.D. Speak English or Die

Slayer, Reign In Blood

Sleep, Sleep’s Holy Mountain

Ice-T, O.G-Original Gangster

Ice Cube, Amerikkka’s Most Wanted.

*Greenhaven-future release

 

Videos/DVDs

Gojira (Godzilla, King of the Monsters)

King Kong

Dracula

Frankenstein

Bride of Frankenstein

Horror of Dracula

Curse of Frankenstein

Monty Python’s Holy Grail

KISS Meets the Phantom

This Is Spinal Tap

The Big Lebowski

Flash Gordon

Rosemary's Baby

 

Books

The Dirt, Motley Crue

The Stand, Stephen King

Holy Bible (Roman Catholic version)

Holy Qur’an (with English translations)

Bhagavad-Gita (with English translations)

The Satanic Bible, Anton Szandor LaVey

Green Eggs and Ham, Dr. Seuss

Catcher in the Rye, J.D. Salinger

Crazy from the Heat, David Lee Roth

The Raven and Other Poems, Edgar Allen Poe

 

(Editor's note: he did say top TEN list, correct?)

 

Well, there they are. It took me a long time of thinking, drinking, pondering and smoking way too much weed to come up with these short lists of stuff. Enjoy.

 

Until next time…

“Inna-gadda-da-vida, baby!”

Pope Spanky XIII

 

3/2/05

Howdy folks,

Welcome back to another installment of Spanky's Grand Declarations!

After several months of intense beer drinking, bong loading, songwriting, practice and just laying low, the mighty GREEN MACHINE will mark their triumphant return to the Phoenix music scene on March 18th at Chaser's in Tempe with Fred Green, Bldg. 5 and several special guests. So show up with your St. Patty's hangover and rock the fuck out! Remember to wear green, drink heavily and be ready to throwdown.

Oh, how the stomach turns...

What should have been a typical Sun Devil morning for me, consisting of waking n' baking (while listening to GREENHAVEN'S "Throckmorton Express”) and going down to ASU to check out some major hotties (and possibly attend a class or two), turned grossly queer as I read today's headline in the local paper: "MASON JAR BECOMING GAY BAR." Holy butt plugs Batman! The fucking World Famous Mason Jar is now going to be The World Famous and "FABULOUS" Franco's House of Man Meat!! How fucking GAY!! (Pun intended.)

I guess all those years of pent up testosterone and hard liquor finally caught up to the place. The fine line between clever and stupid (or straight and gay) has been crossed. Who knew?

Speaking of "Throckmorton", (before I was rudely interrupted by the news of the Mason Jar's demise), I found an interesting bit of trivia. The late, great actor Billy Barty (Hugo from "Dr. Shrinker" and Sigmund Ooze from "Sigmund and the Sea Monsters" fame), played a character named Mr. Throckmorton in the 1989 horror/comedy film "Lobster Man from Mars". A little food for thought as I prepare for St. Patrick's Day the old fashioned way by continuously drinking, smoking and listening to GREENHAVEN till I am fat and sassy.

Until next time..

"Grinder, looking for meat

Grinder, wants you to eat..."

Spanky "I am cool, I am the Breeze"

2/2/05
 
Happy Green Groundhogs Day! (DON'T DRIVE ANGRY!!)
Early this morning Uncle Dave crawled out his cave and saw his gigantic Bah'rootian shadow, let out a deafening belch and then passed out again. You know what that means? 6 more weeks of beautiful Bah'rootian winter! To all you folks from back East or from the Midwest...HA HA HA HA HA!!
The Men-in-Green have been very busy over the past few weeks fine-tuning thier tunes and revving-up thier rock 'n roll engines. The new music is better than ever and the Green Machine is ready to unleash the fucking fury on the world of rock 'n roll in '05.
2005 is the Chinese Year of the Rooster. Myself and the beautiful Gwen Stefani are roosters, so rock out with your cock out!
Everybody's favorite drinking holiday is coming up next month, so think "GREEN."
Until next time...
"I'm sure I would feel much worse if I wasn't under such heavy sedation"
Mecha-Spanky vs. Space-Godzilla


10-26-04

    Greetings fellow Earthlings and members of the human race! It is I, the great and all powerful Spanky! (The great and all powerful OZ couldn't make it because he's busy helping some lost girl and her little dog get back to Kansas.) 
"All the leaves are brown and the sky is grey..."  
    That is the way I felt when I went home last week for my grandfather's funeral in Minnesota. Thanks to all for your condolences, it meant a lot. The weather was rainy, cold, dark and gloomy but at the same time it felt comforting to be home and visiting my ever growing and expanding family.
     The boys in Greenhaven have been busy beavers this month as they prepare for Green Halloween, this Saturday at the Big Fish Pub. This show is guaranteed to mystify, astound and amaze you with the terrible and frightening sounds of Rock n' Roll music that has never been heard, seen or experienced in the history of Halloween before! Even His Infernal Majesty, Lord Satan himself has no idea what is about to be unleashed on such an unholy night as Green Halloween! Greenhaven, The Smoky Mountain Skullbusters, The Dames, the Green Lady Killers and the Reverend Doom will be fighting it out tooth and nail in a Rock n' Roll Battle Royal so huge and so monstrous that only the last band standing (if there are any survivors) will be crowned this Halloween's champions. So many celebrities, psuedo-celebrities and rock stars of every rank will be in attendance that night so don't miss it. If you are in school, quit. If your are in jail, break out! Get your fat, lazy ass to the Big Fish Pub this Saturday night for Green Halloween or you will regret it, forever!  
     P.S. Hey kids, "Bad Things" are coming your way. The mighty Greenhaven will be playing at the Icehouse in downtown Phoenix on Novemberr 4th with a very special WINDIGO reunion on tap. That's right, WINDIGO! This is your one chance in a lifetime to put some "action in your life" and experience one of Phoenix's heaviest bands on stage for the first time in over 5 years. There will be plenty of headbanging, booty-shaking and moshing at this killer show! So put on your party dress Suzie and shimmy-shimmy your sweet ass down to the Icehouse on November 4th for Greenhaven and Windigo! Who says you can "never go back?"
 
Until next time...
Never let the bastards grind you down!
Spanky, aka "The Other White Meat"

9-22-04
 
Howdy, aloha, hola, bon jour, yo, shalom!! Greetings my fellow Americans and citizens of Rock and Roll, it is I, the Great and All-Powerful Spanky. I will be filling in for awhile with band news, updates, gigs and other assorted rumors and gossip until Mocha comes back from her potty run. The boys in Greenhaven have been very busy this summer with video projects, recording and balls-out rocking in the scorching, blazing, sun-baked Sonoran Desert heat. Where to start? Greenhaven are currently working on the Ziggy’s 4th of July Bash DVD featuring the Smoky Mountain Skullbusters, Pinky Tuscadero’s White Knuckle Ass-Fuck, Schlitzkrieg, Casket Life, Big Vinny and Bullet Train to Moscow. That was a crazy, fight for your fucking right to rock weekend and it is well documented for all future generations of rockstars. The disc will be coming out in the near future, so be on the down low and listen up when it hits the streets.

In other rock news…Uncle Dave, bassist, brewmeister and spiritual guru, was recently hospitalized with near career-ending deep gash in his right hand and received several stitches when a bottle of his special home-brewed “Space Leapers Beer” exploded during a photo shoot and sent shards of glass flying in every direction. Uncle Dave, the true rock warrior that he is, drove himself to the hospital while gushing what seemed like gallons of blood and never shed a tear. I was also nicked by flying glass and bled a little bit, but I cried like a little girl. The U.D. was out of commission for only a few days but he came back and unleashed the fucking fury upon the unwashed masses. Look for Uncle Dave’s Space Leapers “Super-Volatile and Unstable Homebrewed Uber-Beer” coming to a bowling alley near you. This Friday check out Greenhaven, live with the mighty Monster Magnet and Bongzilla at the Mason Jar. It’s gonna rock harder than Aldo Nova in ’82. And don’t forget to keep your Halloween Green, (hint, hint, nudge, nudge, wink, wink).

 Until next time, Hail Satan, and don’t trust Whitey.

 Spanky
 

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